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Where we are now {broken}

Sitting down to write this post feels like a bad dream.

Less than two weeks ago, I would have said my family, my marriage came through a war on top- we won, we overcame. Life was good, God was good. We had love, friendship, a wonderful life, and big dreams.

Helping Daddy

One minute I was dreaming of our family’s new farm life, cuddled up with my husband in candlelight on our front porch swing; plotting business plans, vacation adventures, and farm additions.Little girl, Big worldThen less than a week later everything shattered…again.

I am still reeling from the shock. I am broken, my kids are broken.

All I can think is how did I allow this to happen to them twice???

I saw the biggest gift of a lifetime in a second chance. But when it comes down to it, I can only control my choices. So here I am again, picking up the pieces.

Except this time, I’m not going at it alone, not even for one minute.

This time we aren’t looking around at a house that feels empty without a Daddy in it. I didn’t even tell the kids until I got them here {back to my parents’ house} to safety and enough arms to hold them all while they break.2234d8a83ab2fc6c6ae2dd448083725a.jpg

I’m trying to keep the kids busy, showing them that life will go on. That we can have a dream and a good life even if Daddy didn’t choose our family. IMG_0833It’s not been easy. Among the adventure and fun there are a lot of questions and many, many tears.
A slew of grandkids on a golf cart

But, again, we will survive. We have to. There is no other choice, but to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.
And you know what…

Life isn’t good right now, but God is still good. Our survival, our overcoming and thriving will be an amazing testimony to that. You watch and see… God is GOOD.

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15 Comments

  1. Reading your post broke my heart. I remember a few months ago you posted something similar and my heart broke for you then as well. To read this post this morning means you had gotten some glimmer of hope and that things weren’t as sour again only to be destroyed. I am so sorry for you and the kids. I’m glad you parents are there to take care of you guys while you are getting on your feet, and I pray that depression doesn’t overtake.

    I’ll be praying for you!

  2. I know this is a very difficult time for you and your family. I just want you to know we are praying for you here in Maryland.

  3. Hugs! You are strong. You have to be to share this. Your children will feel your strength and you will all get through this together with God at your side.

  4. My heart hurts for you. I have been in situations similar to yours and your children’s. It is hard. It is difficult, but despite it all, it does get better. Mostly when you are least expecting it.

  5. Keeping doing what you are doing, be strong for your children, you will be blessed for that. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Hopefully this Christmas will be a time where you can bring positivity to light and realize that you will still be a loving and happy family.

  6. Im sorry you and your kids are hurting. You’re right God is good and He never gives us more than we can handle. Im going through something that makes me feel sad. I broke down last night. I felt good just letting go of the hurt. I prayed and God gave me peace. I will pray for you and your kids that God gives you strength and peace. God Bless

  7. Sweet cousin – painful as it is, I can tell you from experience that your life will go on, blessings will abound again, and the only way to survive is to move through the pain by feeling it and giving you children stability. They will heal as they see you heal and by knowing that there are people who love them that won’t betray them. God is indeed good. Find a good counselor for you and your babies. We love you!

  8. When one door closes another door opens. Hard to go on Faith but sometimes life demands it. May God bless you and your little ones. May your parents have the strength to help pull you all through this stage in your lives. Look up to God to provide understanding.

  9. You sound like a very strong woman. I wish you and your family only the best. My daughter was divorced last year and she is surviving and becoming an even stronger woman of God. You are blessed.

  10. I don’t know you, but we are sisters in Christ. It is my privilege to pray for you all…even dad. My heart broke reading your post. Your response is Godly and beautiful. Lifting you up!

  11. Just wanted to say I love you. You remain in our Babysitter Hall of Fame 🙂 and it is privilege to see the evidence of your faith lived out. Bless you and yours, sweet Amanda. Much love from the Chambers Clan

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