This guest post is sponsored by Star City Services.
As a mom, there are a lot of things that people tell you to do. How to change a diaper, how to feed your baby, how to do it all, and more. But, what if the key to achieving success and happiness is not how perfectly we do everything, or how much we do? What if the key is actually to stop doing things, instead? If you want to take a shot at improving your happiness and your family life, consider cresting a “stop” list, of things that you need to stop doing. Here are a few things to stop doing to become a happier mom:
Putting yourself last
There are 1 million things to do for your home and your family, but what about yourself? You are just as important, if not, more important than cleaning your home, or cooking a meal at that exact time. Remember that person you were before you became a mom? She is still in there, and she needs love. If you tend to everyone else’s needs before your own, you will experience burnout and you’ll feel depleted. When you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot take care of others. And this is very important as a mom, obviously. Stop putting yourself last and start giving yourself some much-needed self-care, on a daily basis. It’s hard to carve out that time, but I can promise you that it will be very worth it for your mental and physical well-being (+ your entire family will benefit).
Clean the house constantly
The other week, I was talking with my husband’s parents about the struggles in our marriage (I think we have a pretty good marriage, but just like any other relationship, we do have struggles!) and I realized that most of our arguments come when we are both really stressed. When we have a lot of work on our plates, when we are trying to keep the house spotless, and when we just can’t stop and take a breath. This led me to think about the fact that we are constantly trying to keep the house clean…and what is the point? Having a tidy and neat house is great, of course, but kids make messes and it’s normal. Can’t we just accept that and wait until each evening to clean and tidy up? Do we really need to work all day long, cleaning the house, just to have to clean again 10 minutes later? Let’s normalize that messes are okay – and that they can be cleaned up later. Instead, focus on loving your family and spending quality time together.
Complete with the Jones’
This is a huge one. Can we stop trying to compete with every other mom out there, please? Especially trying to compare with what you see on Instagram! Instagram is a highlight reel and if you try to compete with what is not actually real (or what is real), you will go bonkers. Every single person is different and we need to focus on what makes us happy, what we can do to improve our family, and what fills our cups. These things are the only things that matter – it doesn’t matter what anyone else is or is not doing!
Not hiring help
You are a super mom, but you cannot do everything 100% on your own, every minute of the day. The super mom that can do that does not exist (no matter how hard some people try to make it seem this way), so stop trying to be her. Stop doing everything yourself.
Welcome help in the form of family members, friends, or a hired individual or company. Let others take on some responsibility, or take something off your shoulders. And while you are at it, start learning how to say “no” to people more often. When your plate is overflowing, there should be no obligation to take on even more. There are many examples that I can think of when saying “no” AND hiring help is important, but one that sticks out to me is a big life change, such as moving. If you try to take care of yourself, your family, all the meals, the move, the packing, etc. etc. etc., you will be working 24/7 and more than likely, you won’t be able to function, or take care of yourself and your kids. Instead of doing it all yourself, just hire help. You will be so happy you took that leap! Make sure you have a great real estate agent, a good home inspector, a killer loan team, and of course, the moving team.
If you need a good VA-based team to help your family, ★Star City Services★ are long distance movers Roanoke, and they also do local, commercial and residential moves, as well. They have a 4.7-star rating on Google aim to go above and beyond for their clients.
There are plenty of things that you could feel guilty about, but what does this do? Seriously – is it benefitting your family at all, when you feel guilty? If I had to guess, it doesn’t…Of course, feeling guilty is a normal feeling and it is okay if you cannot immediately stop feeling this way, but try your best to stop feeling guilty about everything, because you are doing SO much good, and your best is all that is needed. Feeling guilty for not breastfeeding, bottle feeding, cloth diapering, going back to work, staying at home, using a babysitter, not using a babysitter, tummy sleeping, side sleeping, back sleeping, pacifier using. There are so many things that you (or others) try to make yourself feel guilty about, but one thing to remember? We all do what we can and you are doing an amazing job. Every baby and mom is different and nobody (not even yourself!) should guilt you for your parenting.