Before Big Family Blessings I wrote a more private blog which was mostly a journal of our day to day life. When Emily was 4 months old I wrote a post about being Supermom, since so many people at the time seemed to think that I had it all together. The post was my attempt to set them straight, to demonstrate that I am far from perfect as a Momma. Now, with 6 little ones at my feet I bet fewer people see me as superMom anyway. It’s pretty hard to even LOOK like I have it together with this much chaos with me at all times. But, I thought I would share the old post here anyway.
“Supermom” does not exist…
These are comments I hear more and more lately:
“You are always so calm”
“You always seem to have it all together.”
and even more often I get comments from Mamas who say I can handle 5 children because I am calm and collected, but they could never handle more than their ____ kids because they don’t have the same personality.
While I know that my choice to have more than the average number of children is different, I don’t believe I have a large family because I’m “supermom.” In fact, sometimes I think I’ve been given a larger than average family because it’s taking God more than a few children to shape me into the Mom He wants me to be–I’m a slow learner!
I may look like I am always calm and collected, but that’s because you don’t see me trying to get the kids out the door for church in the morning, or hear me fussing at the kids picking on each other in the backseat of the car, or the million other things I say and do that are far from calm and cool each day. I go to bed at night asking forgiveness for the times I’ve lost my temper too quickly, snapped at a child rather than calmly talking, expected more than I should, or told a child “not right now” when I should have stopped to play/talk/help. I’m a human too, and I make the same mistakes all moms make! I go to bed many nights wishing for a “do over.” The last thought in my head at night is often that I am so glad that tomorrow is a new day full of new chances.
My greatest challenge every single day is dying to self. I believe it’s probably the biggest challenge for most Moms. I am selfish. I don’t love to clean the kitchen a million times a day. I don’t love to change diapers. I get frustrated when I don’t get a shower or when the kids innocently spill a drink on my freshly mopped floor. Breaking up sibling squabbles is not my idea of a good time. Daily I must fight my inner grumblings and selfish thoughts. I’m often taking a deep breath trying to stop careless words from spilling from my mouth to my little ones ears.
All that being said–it is so important to fight this fight each and every day. All of us, whether we are Moms of 1 or Moms of 10, fight the same fight! Satan wants nothing more for us as mothers than to get discouraged and give up. He wants us to believe the lie that our job is insignificant. It’s so easy to get lost in the day to day chores and messes of motherhood and forget just how huge an impact we have on our children and who they are going to be as adults. They watch us–the way we react when we are stressed, the way we speak when we are angry–these are the ways they are going to react to the same problems and stresses. When we mess up do they see us admitting our mistakes and asking for forgiveness? When times are tough do they see us choosing joy; choosing a good attitude? Our children will see our work ethic at home and it will translate to their jobs and homes when they are adults. At the same time, they will forever remember the times that Mommy skipped the chores to do more important things like building relationships, listening to their problems, or kissing a scrape.
Our children are not going to believe what we say we believe, they are going to believe what they SEE us believe.
I pray that my children see in me the following verses–but that they also know that Mommy is a sinner who messes up daily and needs forgiveness too.
Whatever you do, work at it wholeheartedly as though you were doing it for the Lord and not merely for people. Col 3:23
Always be joyful. Pray continually, and give thanks whatever happens. That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus. I Thes 5:16-18
God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So you should always clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Even more than all this, clothe yourself in love. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity. Col 3:12-14