As it turns out, I’m going to be a single Mom after all. The weight of that is just as huge as it was the first time. There’s more to say, of course, but right now I just can’t.
I have no idea what the future holds, or what even tomorrow holds for that matter. I tell myself just one day… one moment at the time.
I just want to be done with here…done living out of suitcases for months on end (again)… living too far away from friends and family…and now alone on top of it.
It was an adventure..now its a nightmare. I had high hopes for our family here, looking forward to working to make this old well-loved house cute and functional again. Having a farm-life dream that we all got to work on together as a family.
I want a future with my children that feels stable, where we can put down roots and know our circumstances aren’t going to change with the wind.
I hate that after all this, they don’t really trust me either. I assured them we were safe, our family was safe. There was no need to worry because we were a family today, tomorrow, forever, no matter what.
Their trust will be hard-won, and rightly so. When will they feel safe and secure again?? One thing I know, that is my one and only goal- to make them feel safe and secure. Every move, every decision comes down to that.
Pray for us please. Comfort for all involved- especially the children. Wisdom for me, as I have huge decisions to make. For our house to sell quickly so we can put this behind us and move forward.